"....Your children shall be like olive plants all around your table." Psalm 128:3

Monday, January 21, 2013

Chores for Children {part 1}



People often ask me how I "do it all". I assume that the person is referring to homeschooling and homemaking.

Well, I will be honest: there is a lot of work to do in our home. And with a family of seven (5 children still at home), I do not do it all  myself, because I should not do all of the work.

So instead of doing it all, I delegate some of the work to my children. But with all the chores that need to be done around here, my children could easily become overwhelmed...if I didn't delegate in the right way. And I could easily become exasperated by their not wanting to do their part.

When I was a little girl, I hated doing chores; I griped and complained to my Mom about every little thing she asked me to do. I don't know how should stood it!  But I don't want my children to hate helping out around the house.  I want to instill in them a good work ethic.

 And I want my children to have a servant's heart...to love helping others. And to do it without grumbling and complaining. 

 I  also believe that it is a priceless lesson in responsibility and life skills for a child  to be required to do daily chores. If handled properly, chores can be an excellent opportunity to teach the joy of serving.

One mom said that she exchanged the word "chore" for "service", because "chore" had too many negative connotations associated with it. That wouldn't work at our house. Our children know that chores are just that - chores. And some of those chores are exactly what the word implies - work. 

However, how I ask my children to do their chores can be done in such a way as to make them realize they are doing it for someone else. For example, if the hen house needs to cleaned out, instead of, "Clean out the hen house", I tell the boys, "It would be a great help to Dad if you would clean out the hen house for him. That way, he won't have to do it when he gets home from work." The mere mention of helping Dad motivates the boys to do their very best, and not only do they clean out the manure, they are eager to do some little extras:  sweep down cobwebs, clean out the drinkers and feeders, etc. And with that attitude, they are actually joyful about cleaning out the hen house...all because they know are helping out their Dad.

As for the girls, if I say, "Dry and put away the dishes", they won't want to do it. But if I say, "It would be a huge help to me if you would dry and put away the dishes while I fold laundry."  They jump right on it and most importantly, do it with joy, knowing they're helping me out.

Also, if I ask my children work with me, they are very eager to help out. I love having them work alongside me. It's a great opportunity to fellowship with them.

And I always remind them that whatever they do, whether it's a chore, or school lesson, or whatever it is, they should do it as unto the Lord. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

When children have an attitude of serving others, the task takes on less meaning, and the giving of themselves in service becomes more important. This is so critical in the way we all should respond to what the Lord would have us do. How beneficial  for our children to learn to serve the Lord (by serving others) through working in the home.

What a blessing it is to have the opportunity to involve children throughout the day in ways that serve others in the context of daily work in the home!

How about you, friends? How do you handle chore time at your house?

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might..." ~ Ecclesiastes 9:10

(Stay tuned for part 2, when I will discuss exactly which chores my children are responsible for.)

Have a blessed week, everyone!

sharing with  Deep Roots At Home








16 comments:

  1. That is true. It depends a lot how we ask things from them, the tone, if we relate it to helping someone, or work WITH us, that they cooperate or not. I have experienced that first hand, LOL.

    Nice series.

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  2. I have experienced it first hand, too, Silvia. That's when I knew I needed to change my approach. :)
    Thanks so much for stopping by. Hope you have a wonderful week!

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  3. It is so true that our attitude makes a huge difference. I find that my little ones really want to help out too (like the 1 & 3 year olds), and its really not helpful. BUT when we encourage them and find ways for them to help then they keep that servants heart and continue to desire to serve their family as they get older. Its something I wish I'd had a better attitude about with my older kids instead of sending them off to play while I cleaned up the kitchen really quickly.
    I'm going to use your tip on asking with the perspective of helping others, my kids truly love serving others but I don't think they realize that the work they do around the house IS a service to their family and not just a chore. Thanks!

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  4. I'm eager to hear how the perspective change works for you.
    Please keep me posted. :)

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  5. Amen! My kids have learned to do amazing things since my strokes.

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by. Glad to hear that your children are such a help to you. :)

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  6. You're absolutely right. We need their help. My daughter grumbles all the time. This gives me hope. She may grow up and see the need for cooperation.

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    1. My children grumbled all the time, Jen. I got so tired of of begging them to help me out. I knew I had to change their perspective of doing chores.
      Hope you're having a great week. :)

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  7. Love the tip about "äsking with the perspective of helping others" -- I needed to be reminded of that!

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    1. So happy to have you stop by, Carmen. Have a delightful week. :)

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  8. Good post! I agree with what you said. I do try and do that and it works! Sometimes, when less patient, I just bluntly give "chores" and then I get frustrated when it goes sour. However, when I stay focused and intentional like you mentioned, everything runs more smoothly and harmoniously. Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. Excellent point, my friend. My perspective is contagious; I need to remember it's all about serving others, as well.
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing. :)

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  9. I have always been an advocate for chores been given to children. Age appropriate tasks builds responsibility and character...even if they do grumble when they need to be done :)

    I have been blessed with two sons that help a great deal around the cottage. They wash dishes, vacuum and take care of the pets. It gives me a great deal of joy to see that when they leave our humble nest, they will be able to survive just fine :)

    Thank you for sharing Lisa.... blessings to you today,

    Maria

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    1. My children still occasionally grumble, Maria, but they are so much more willing to help out if I use the correct tone when I ask them to do something.

      You are truly blessed with sons that help out so much. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. :)

      Much love to you my friend.

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  10. Great Post! I agree with you 100%. It always went better too when we were all working at once as a team. And they never got allowances either. Now that the girls are older, they still have certain unpaid duties and things that just need to be done because they are part of the family, but we also do the "Money Smart Kids" point system where they get paid for certain duties. That way they better learn the value of a buck. We no longer buy their clothes or much of anything, they have to pay for it all themselves from the money they earn -- that way they don't learn to live on mom & dad welfare.

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    1. We don't do allowances either, Jane. Sounds like your girls are getting great money lessons. Keep up the good work, my friend. Hope you had a blessed Lord's Day. :)
      Much love to you!

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Thanks so much for stopping by. I love to hear from my readers, and your thoughts are welcome. And I try my best to respond to each and every comment. :)